2012 was

Well, it looked like it would be a rough one... and it was. It's never as bad as it could be, it can always get worse, so I'm not complaining, just talking.

Honestly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.. but probably because I psyched myself up.

I didn't do much blogging.. even though I wanted to. even though I needed to. I just couldn't.

In January Mathew had spine surgery. [details on the before surgery info,



Recovery was rough [




]... and not just on Mathew. I almost had a breakdown.

At times I felt weak for not handling it better. But we got through it.

We also celebrated our 7 year anniversary... I'm here to tell you that the 7 year itch is real. It. Is. Real. But we made it. We survived. We're stronger than ever.

I got some good deals..


 dress for 9.99?! I mean...

You guys,

Douglas started pre-school


We had a couple of great

trips home

, even one to fabulous

craft show

that I haven't told you guys much about. I was so excited to get in, and I had such a fabulous time! But I just haven't had the time to blog about the experience.

Double rainbow!

Isabella was grumpy... I'd say about 355 days out of the year.

I found some more awesomeness via


. Including some words that help me be ok with being a

crappy mom sometimes... I bared my heart and soul to ya'll

. I know I'm not the only one that hears

the phantom murders, screams, and carnage


Douglas turned 5 and had a killer Michael Jackson party.. I have that blog as a draft.. forgive me.

Douglas also had his first surgery... hopefully only surgery. He had his tonsils removed, but get this.. on the SAME day as Mathew had his removed..

Double tonsillectomies

... I have nothing more to say about that. It wasn't pretty.

We had a fabulous Christmas... but I have to mention Sandy Hook. I was out Christmas shopping when I heard, first I saw something about it on Facebook. Even though Facebook + I have a

rocky history

, when I'm out on the town I can't help but check it every so often. Everyone just expressed sadness... once I looked into it.. I had a horrible feeling. I tried not to let it get to me, I was trying to get all the shopping done that day. It was on the back of my mind though.. and after the kids were put to bed, I just lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I was so sad. I feel for the parents.... and those poor babies. What they went through... What they felt, the fear. I can't even... I'm so sorry. My heart, prayers, love goes out to all of the victims' families... no words could ever comfort you, or make it easier... I still have my babies though, and I don't think I'll ever look at them the same. though I want to run away from them sometimes, or they make me want to stab myself in the eyeball, the thought of those sweet children & what their parents went through won't leave me. I can't shake it. So I'll hold them a little longer, let them sit on my lap, let them "help me in the kitchen... love them. Because they are still here for me to love.

I think that next year we'll have to do more giving than receiving. And by we I mean the children. They were a little stingy this year. So I'll have to come up with some activities that induce more of a charitable spirit.

This last week D & M got some kind of stomach flu thing.. It lasted less than 24 hours though so that was a +... I'm thinking me & Is didn't get it because we're strong, healthy girls.. men are weak. [*wink*]

I'm kind of glad to see 2012 go... I'm really looking forward to next year. I've got big plans. Mostly plans to get my life back. To do things right, grow, become a better wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend.. a better me.

I also have plans for my little shop.. not big ones, but good ones.