Kindergarten

Douglas graduated preschool last week.
Didn't he just start preschool?!

What am I going to do when he comes home and tells me how some dumb little kid was mean to him?!   I'm not opposed to punching 5 year olds in the face... That's not frowned upon is it?!

And it's not like he hasn't been the mean kid before... sometimes I think that may be just as bad. When YOUR kid is the bully. The one that tells another kid he doesn't like them.. or tells an adult that they have B.O... sigh. Is it that you worry about the kind of person they are becoming. Don't wish for them the pains and lonely lunch eating that accompany the kind of person that lacks a filter? Or is it a selfish thing. An embarrassment. It makes you feel like a bad parent because they haven't learned compassion/self control/manners/the golden rule which are YOUR job to teach them. It makes people think that their actions are a reflection on you and maybe you suck as a person. Maybe you talk smack about others at home. "Privately", you wouldn't DARE say it to them. But after all aren't our kids' personalities an amplification of ours?! It's like holding a mirror up to yourself... I didn't realize how often I put my hands on my hips until Isabella started doing it. Or that I may say bad things about the slow car in front of us... and about the person driving it until Douglas shouted, "hurry up you stupid car!". That Isabella could call her papa a pig because she heard grandma say, "papa is such a pig.." while cleaning up a mess he made [lovingly of course].

Douglas is [for the most part] a teacher's dream; he is usually pretty quiet, kind of shy, listens to instructions, a perfectionist. But will he be too quiet? Will kids look him over and he not have any friends?! Will he get behind in school because he's afraid to ask questions but not afraid to tell the teacher when they say something he thinks is wrong?! ugh.

But again. I think this will be harder on me. I'm being selfish. Though I know that as a parent my job is to ready him to enter the big scary world out there... I don't want to. Can't we just go live in a cave somewhere, just us. Where no one will ever break his heart and he can stay in his childish "why do you have lines on your belly" asking mentality..

But I love that boy. I love the things he loves. He asks how to get to heaven and if I can teach him sometime, when he's ready. He asks so many questions, about cows, grass, things I don't like. But I try to teach him, answer the questions I can about God's love and Michael Jackson. About matching clothes and how you shouldn't be afraid to try new things [even when I am]. I try to teach him about being nice to people, treating your friends and family with love and being considerate. About taking care of himself and how to shower. [we're working on him washing his own body. He has to know the name to EVERY part.. like the elbow pits + knee pits.. also the bankle. That's the back part of your ankle that holds a lot of dirt in the creases when you're running around barefoot. you're welcome for the information, it's free.]

He's a good kid. I think he's ready. He has to be. I have to be. It's happening.

XOXO-
Emma

Oreo Pops

I told y'all I'd share a how-to on the Oreo pops I made for D's MJ birthday party... a few months later, I finally got around to it.

So I found this via Pinterest.

{this picture via}

Oreo Pops! Genius.

I didn't click on it. I just thought, "duh! I can do that!"

Nope.

I figured out real quick that they're not as easy as they look at first glance. I went back and found the pin, but the link didn't have a step by step. I decided to take matters into my own hands. If there is another tut out there, I'm not sure. I just decided to figure it out.

Here's the quick how to: {emma style}

make room for the stick. Just scoop out some of the cream filling and... set it aside.. or eat it. Go ahead. Eat it. You know you want to. Don't waste it.

Melt a few candy melts at a time in a small bowl. I forgot to take a picture of the candy melts that I used. But you can find them here or pick them up at Hobby Lobby, Michael's, or even Walmart. Melt them {*HINT: if you over do it in the microwave and the melted candy becomes thick and just isn't working, add a little bit of coconut oil or shortening to smooth it back out.*}

Grab a stick that hasn't been licked clean {I got mine at the cake/wedding section at Walmart} and dip the lollipop stick in the melted candy.

Spread it around a bit. This will act as a glue to keep you Oreo on the stick. 

Place the other cookie part on top.

If you don't know your own strength like me I guess, they may crack.

No biggie. They'll be covered soon. Place them on a cookie sheet covered with wax paper

Now that all of those are on sticks you can melt the rest of the candy melts, or just a few more. Whatever you feel. Go with your gut. Follow your heart... Do whatever is easiest.

I used a spoon to cover the cookies with melted candy melts. AGAIN, don't try and make them so absolutely perfect. It's impossible. And they'll be eaten in an instant, no one will be inspecting them...  At least I wouldn't think so.

If you want them just white {or whatever color candy melt you got} and don't mind a flat side you can just put them right back on the wax paper, Or use one of these inexpensive cake pop stand things I also found at Walmart. {what can I say? Walmart is a necessary evil.}

If you want to add sprinkles you'll have to do it right after you cover the Oreo with the melted candy melts over a bowl before it dries. ONE AT A TIME. Just pour them on. Half dipped in sprinkles would look fab too!

And that's it. A little more time consuming than I assumed at first, but not to bad. You can also make them a couple of days ahead of time, just keep them covered.

Enjoy! And let me know if you make them or you come up with any new variations to try. I would also LOVE to see pictures. {email me here.}

Mathew

Last week was the one year anniversary of Mathew's back surgery. It's not something you really celebrate I guess, but getting through it is. Like I've said before, this last year was rough. [you can read the details on how he got hurt here, and about the surgery here + here]. But we made it trough. HE made it through, honestly I'd rather die than go through that surgery. I know there are worst things, but I'm a baby when it comes to pain and having your spine cut apart. You know...

The doctors told him that at a year he should be back to full function. But that's just isn't the case. He isn't back to work full time yet. He can't be. He's in a lot of pain most of the time. Walking, sitting, riding in a tractor or even in a car for 30 minutes or more just kills him. He doesn't say it does, he doesn't complain if I keep him out longer or things take more time that expected. He bears it. Sometimes he's grumpy, but you can't blame him. For the most part he just gets quiet and I know he's ready to go home and rest. Sometimes I start to say that my back hurts and realize how that must sound to him. I have no clue. I can't even imagine how he feels. Actually it makes me sick if I try to.

Mathew isn't a small guy. He's "built like a linebacker". But he's been dropping weight. He's at the gym every day and makes sure he does things right because the last thing he wants to do is mess anything up and cause a set back. He's even lost 45 pounds. I know that he would do anything to be completely healed. To be able to play with the kids, walk through the grocery store with me, watch a movie, play outside without feeling so much pain. I want him to do what he wants, what he loves. I want him to be happy... Even if the thing that makes him happy is farming. [I am so not outdoorsy, and I live on a farm. Send help.] He couldn't understand why he was in so much pain, why he couldn't just go back to work. During his last checkup they said that everything was healing good and he could ease back into work... That's what he's tried to do.

6 months later the xray show that his fusion has slowed down dramatically.

The doctor said that everything he is experiencing is due to that. He shouldn't be in that much pain. So they asked him to start wearing the bone stimulator. Yes, bone stimulator. Pretty self explanatory, it should stimulate the bone-marrow to grow and fuse together. The doctor said that they will schedule a CT scan to get a closer look.

When the doctor left, Mathew looked at me and said, "I'm so glad it's not just me." I told him that none of us, no one thought he was lying or making it up, or being a baby. We believed him and didn't doubt that he was really in pain. Not for a minute. He said, "No, but I did." His relief was palpable.

I guess just more time, and bone stimulating [*giggle* immature, I know..] will help. This man, the most impatient man in the world will just have to be a little patient.

-Emma